text
string | score
int64 | upvote_ratio
float64 | num_comments
int64 | created_utc
float64 | url
string | id
string | subreddit
string | author
string | source_endpoint
string |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
"I hate tomatoes," I said to myself. Peering out the bus window, I realized we were approaching the tomato factory...
| 7,490
| 1
| 214
| 1,645,377,673
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/sx6854/i_hate_tomatoes_i_said_to_myself/
|
sx6854
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_ham_sandwich_42
|
top_all
|
"Tomatoes are harmless," assured the woman at the front desk of the tomato factory. Across the lobby, the elevator door dinged and opened, revealing a possy of Tomato Men ready to take me.
| 1,502
| 1
| 24
| 1,645,985,153
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/t2tyai/tomatoes_are_harmless_assured_the_woman_at_the/
|
t2tyai
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_ham_sandwich_42
|
top_all
|
Don’t fall for clickbait
| 1,392
| 1
| 13
| 1,542,387,454
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/9xnxko/dont_fall_for_clickbait/
|
9xnxko
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
tonyabstract
|
top_all
|
I just told my daughter that she’s adopted. She gave me a big hug and we left the adoption agency.
| 949
| 1
| 7
| 1,570,281,371
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ddn4gq/i_just_told_my_daughter_that_shes_adopted/
|
ddn4gq
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
“I really hate British people” I said to myself As I looked out the bus window I realized we where headed to a British person factory.
| 767
| 1
| 23
| 1,658,373,290
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/w45sst/i_really_hate_british_people_i_said_to_myself/
|
w45sst
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Aedan05
|
top_all
|
Jolting awake, I was relieved to find that it was all a terrible dream. However, feeling something strange under the covers, I pull the sheets back, revealing dozens of tomatoes covering my body.
| 631
| 1
| 10
| 1,657,980,718
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/w0hl5j/jolting_awake_i_was_relieved_to_find_that_it_was/
|
w0hl5j
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_ham_sandwich_42
|
top_all
|
They say they love me, but every time I bring them a dead body they freak out. **Being a cat is complicated.**
| 499
| 1
| 12
| 1,598,199,384
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/if5xql/they_say_they_love_me_but_every_time_i_bring_them/
|
if5xql
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
DavenportChronicles
|
top_all
|
"But we did rig the election, boss," he said. "You just didn't specify which one, and the high school level is just so much easier to deal with than the federal level"
| 335
| 0.99
| 1
| 1,605,712,487
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/jwhj43/but_we_did_rig_the_election_boss_he_said/
|
jwhj43
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
"Tomatoes are really fucking ugly," I said to myself. Peering out the bus window, I realized we were approaching the tomato strip club...
| 322
| 0.98
| 10
| 1,656,684,921
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/vp1v1b/tomatoes_are_really_fucking_ugly_i_said_to_myself/
|
vp1v1b
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I was gay. Turns out the classmates I fucked weren't.
| 283
| 0.98
| 27
| 1,579,009,993
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/eoljfn/i_was_gay/
|
eoljfn
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Iamanoreoinamist
|
top_all
|
I love living in Belgium. Then the undetonated World War 2 bomb that was buried under my house exploded and killed everyone on my block.
| 277
| 1
| 11
| 1,659,737,053
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/wh7pvx/i_love_living_in_belgium/
|
wh7pvx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_ham_sandwich_42
|
top_all
|
My son got caught having sex with one of his teachers. He’s homeschooled...
| 241
| 0.97
| 7
| 1,593,670,748
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/hjrpzm/my_son_got_caught_having_sex_with_one_of_his/
|
hjrpzm
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Blaize-TheRevolution
|
top_all
|
There are two very important holes in the woman body. And it’s not what you are thinking you perv, they are the nostrils, which allow a woman to breathe while sucking dick.
| 239
| 0.99
| 4
| 1,569,931,828
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/dbsg1k/there_are_two_very_important_holes_in_the_woman/
|
dbsg1k
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Dachvo
|
top_all
|
My daughter told me she doesn’t want to sleep in the same room as her sister anymore. I replied: “I’ve already told you Laura, we don’t have enough cash to bury her properly.”
| 223
| 1
| 3
| 1,601,389,023
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/j201ur/my_daughter_told_me_she_doesnt_want_to_sleep_in/
|
j201ur
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
The_Spatula_
|
top_all
|
She screamed as the ear piercing sound reached her She forgot that her favorite movie had a THX logo in it
| 213
| 1
| 6
| 1,582,933,549
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/fb3syp/she_screamed_as_the_ear_piercing_sound_reached_her/
|
fb3syp
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
"I love Tomatoes" I peer my head out the bus window and get decapitated by the tomato factory sign
| 187
| 0.97
| 9
| 1,645,493,239
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/syajl4/i_love_tomatoes/
|
syajl4
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
potatoandeggsaladHD
|
top_all
|
She walked into the bathroom to see the blood of her child splattered over the walls. "Sweetie, how about we find a tutorial on how to use a Diva Cup, okay?"
| 183
| 0.98
| 3
| 1,613,950,729
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/lp9qqx/she_walked_into_the_bathroom_to_see_the_blood_of/
|
lp9qqx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
AggressiveMennonite
|
top_all
|
I went to go ate a mcdonalds ronald: welcome to evil mcdonald u get scary burger me:aahhhhhhh
| 179
| 0.96
| 8
| 1,726,892,897
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/1fluzea/i_went_to_go_ate_a_mcdonalds/
|
1fluzea
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
lamThe0neWhoKnocks
|
top_all
|
I was walking straight ahead Then i took a left turn.
| 176
| 1
| 3
| 1,542,396,182
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/9xp9tn/i_was_walking_straight_ahead/
|
9xp9tn
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Finnskiler
|
top_all
|
“Made ya look!” I laughed exuberantly, revealing my whimsical joke to the whole party. The search party who’d spent days looking in the wrong place for the missing girl were less amused.
| 175
| 0.98
| 2
| 1,608,209,829
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/kewyr8/made_ya_look_i_laughed_exuberantly_revealing_my/
|
kewyr8
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
Once more, I view the emotional footage of a man pulling his child from a burning building. The video plays backwards until it is fully rewound, leaving me to analyse the fiery murder-suicide tape from the start again.
| 174
| 0.99
| 7
| 1,611,336,078
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/l2sbi4/once_more_i_view_the_emotional_footage_of_a_man/
|
l2sbi4
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
My wife told me that someone was following her last night and I was so angry I've asked the hitman to get the job done without being spotted
| 166
| 0.98
| 3
| 1,615,382,402
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/m1xat1/my_wife_told_me_that_someone_was_following_her/
|
m1xat1
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Inferno2211
|
top_all
|
“Man I hate milk” I said to myself My face turned to horror as the cow that overheard me got on its hind lets and pointed its tits at me.
| 162
| 0.99
| 7
| 1,646,840,931
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/taaod5/man_i_hate_milk_i_said_to_myself/
|
taaod5
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
throwaway21906
|
top_all
|
I hang up mid-sentence on yet another unwanted phone call from a total stranger. This emergency dispatcher gig is shaping up to be a real drag.
| 159
| 0.99
| 1
| 1,586,357,185
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/fx7q53/i_hang_up_midsentence_on_yet_another_unwanted/
|
fx7q53
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
My best friend had never seemed to age, we always joked about how he’s “immortal”. But then I saw him in the back of one of my baby pictures.
| 151
| 0.99
| 8
| 1,612,989,606
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/lh39lz/my_best_friend_had_never_seemed_to_age_we_always/
|
lh39lz
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
LordOfAllShiters
|
top_all
|
I love tomatoes. As I walk out the doors of the re-education facility, I decide that I will plant a tomato garden in my backyard.
| 141
| 1
| 12
| 1,704,470,532
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/18za9dl/i_love_tomatoes/
|
18za9dl
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_ham_sandwich_42
|
top_all
|
I got shot in the arm today. Now I am immune to this years Flu thanks to vaccines!
| 141
| 0.98
| 1
| 1,571,172,387
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/die60c/i_got_shot_in_the_arm_today/
|
die60c
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I got out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I feel awful... ....for my ex girlfriend lol, I have a greek god body!
| 141
| 1
| 1
| 1,610,740,585
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ky2eoz/i_got_out_of_the_shower_and_looked_at_myself_in/
|
ky2eoz
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
"I love tomatoes," I said to myself. Peering out the bus window, I realized we were approaching the tomato slaughterhouse...
| 139
| 0.99
| 12
| 1,649,601,580
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/u0iy1p/i_love_tomatoes_i_said_to_myself/
|
u0iy1p
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
“I’m glad knife guy can’t get me here” I thought That’s when I realized the bus was headed to the knife guy factory
| 132
| 0.99
| 7
| 1,678,599,619
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/11p6k87/im_glad_knife_guy_cant_get_me_here_i_thought/
|
11p6k87
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Young_Person_42
|
top_all
|
"Just shut up and hand me the money", he said pointing the gun at my face. But all I saw was the look of terrible sadness as he cried, "If I don't get this now, they will kill my family".
| 123
| 0.99
| 6
| 1,611,848,758
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/l7072f/just_shut_up_and_hand_me_the_money_he_said/
|
l7072f
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
chaisaaclatte
|
top_all
|
As I stretched my legs, I caught a splinter in my elbow. I guess coffins really break down first before the body does.
| 116
| 1
| 1
| 1,576,566,280
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ebsgbq/as_i_stretched_my_legs_i_caught_a_splinter_in_my/
|
ebsgbq
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
JrWritersBlock
|
top_all
|
I boarded up my windows and prepared to face the meat worm Little did I know, it was actually the vegetable worm outside my house instead
| 111
| 0.91
| 7
| 1,657,755,161
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/vyh8yp/i_boarded_up_my_windows_and_prepared_to_face_the/
|
vyh8yp
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I stare at the monitor, quickly alerting me of the almost empty power supply Frrud y
| 110
| 0.95
| 46
| 1,639,963,251
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/rkb2p6/i_stare_at_the_monitor_quickly_alerting_me_of_the/
|
rkb2p6
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
BoomBlade101
|
top_all
|
I slept for 4 hours straight. Then for 3 hours gay.
| 110
| 0.98
| 6
| 1,644,351,625
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/sntsnr/i_slept_for_4_hours_straight/
|
sntsnr
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I was petrified as the shadow standing at the edge of my bed moved closer to me. As I laid there shivering thinking of the inevitable, I kept asking God why lust turns my dad into an animal.
| 106
| 0.97
| 4
| 1,609,400,772
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/knlr92/i_was_petrified_as_the_shadow_standing_at_the/
|
knlr92
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
raz_8153
|
top_all
|
When I was a child, I've felt an unconditonal love from my fater and mother until the time came that they've drifted apart from me, making me desperate and lonely. To prove that I will be a better parent than them, I went to the nearest orphanage to adopt a child and a sweet nun welcomed me, "Oh my God, you have grown so much."
| 106
| 0.97
| 2
| 1,606,323,382
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/k0vue4/when_i_was_a_child_ive_felt_an_unconditonal_love/
|
k0vue4
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
xanderpua
|
top_all
|
As a prolific reader, I’m a firm believer in the literary concept of “Death of the Author”. If you kill off my favourite character in a novel, then prepare to die.
| 103
| 1
| 0
| 1,601,652,347
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/j3wjls/as_a_prolific_reader_im_a_firm_believer_in_the/
|
j3wjls
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
“I think I’m ready for anal” My girlfriend said, with her strap-on in her hand.
| 102
| 0.97
| 3
| 1,585,623,411
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/fs52wi/i_think_im_ready_for_anal/
|
fs52wi
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
He gently rocked the infant, cooing softly as he gazed into her bright brown eyes. Death sighed as he carried her to the next world, leaving the body in the alley where he had found her.
| 101
| 1
| 10
| 1,620,497,572
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/n7v0io/he_gently_rocked_the_infant_cooing_softly_as_he/
|
n7v0io
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GrimmRetails
|
top_all
|
“I hate tomatoes” I said whilst walking to my cinema screen Little did I know, the tomato movie was about start….
| 100
| 0.98
| 10
| 1,671,657,224
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/zs136m/i_hate_tomatoes_i_said_whilst_walking_to_my/
|
zs136m
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Glueak
|
top_all
|
The last thing I remember before the pain, was the suspect exploding into a million shards of light as I fired my weapon. Turns out, you can go blind from shooting at mirrors point blank range.
| 100
| 0.99
| 4
| 1,584,776,397
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/fmbfgx/the_last_thing_i_remember_before_the_pain_was_the/
|
fmbfgx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
JrWritersBlock
|
top_all
|
"You have a rare std", my physician said. What he doesn't know is that I am his wife's lover.
| 98
| 0.95
| 0
| 1,592,314,712
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ha467f/you_have_a_rare_std_my_physician_said/
|
ha467f
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
HairyPeasant
|
top_all
|
“If he isn’t my real dad who is!?” I asked my mom “I am” said the meat worm
| 98
| 0.98
| 6
| 1,658,190,541
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/w2et2b/if_he_isnt_my_real_dad_who_is_i_asked_my_mom/
|
w2et2b
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Two__eggs
|
top_all
|
The gunshots echoed around me as I ran through the airport. Those bastards started the show without me!
| 96
| 0.97
| 8
| 1,605,397,709
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/jubxnn/the_gunshots_echoed_around_me_as_i_ran_through/
|
jubxnn
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Yeetlord682
|
top_all
|
There’s no feeling quite like having your beloved pet snuggling into your bed and embracing you after a long day of work. There’s no way to describe my terror when I woke up to my pet boa constrictor in the middle of squeezing the breath out of me.
| 94
| 1
| 3
| 1,601,740,864
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/j4hhso/theres_no_feeling_quite_like_having_your_beloved/
|
j4hhso
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Veloci-RKPTR
|
top_all
|
I was scared and frozen in fright at first contact with the aliens, as they abducted me, brought me aboard their ship and into some sterile medical-operating-like room. The alien then handed me an odd-looking metal probe, and spoke to me in perfect English, "Please, put it in my ass."
| 93
| 0.99
| 1
| 1,598,057,941
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ie97tw/i_was_scared_and_frozen_in_fright_at_first/
|
ie97tw
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
I was so happy during the first dance with my wife Little did I know,it would also be my last dance
| 91
| 0.97
| 3
| 1,602,731,717
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/jbfssn/i_was_so_happy_during_the_first_dance_with_my_wife/
|
jbfssn
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Short_Artist_Girl
|
top_all
|
The tests came back and the growth in your tummy doesn’t seem like it’s Cancer. His due date is late, I think he’ll be a Leo.
| 91
| 0.96
| 3
| 1,608,617,986
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/khzpw2/the_tests_came_back_and_the_growth_in_your_tummy/
|
khzpw2
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
Unable to choose an answer to the question, I figured I’d take a shot in the dark. Well, the late-night commuters who were asking if I’m armed have their answer now.
| 91
| 1
| 3
| 1,597,063,769
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/i747w1/unable_to_choose_an_answer_to_the_question_i/
|
i747w1
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
"Ooh, daddy, daddy, daddy" squealed the little girl, jumping and pointing at the television excitedly, "I want it!" Backlit by his mugshot on the screen, she pleaded, "Make the news talk about me next!"
| 90
| 0.98
| 0
| 1,625,637,492
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ofcyeq/ooh_daddy_daddy_daddy_squealed_the_little_girl/
|
ofcyeq
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
silverzippers
|
top_all
|
As king, I figured a gold crown would be best. My dentist insisted that porcelain is what I wanted for my cracked tooth.
| 90
| 0.99
| 0
| 1,596,864,197
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/i5tnmx/as_king_i_figured_a_gold_crown_would_be_best/
|
i5tnmx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
I was shocked to see the airport erupt with flames. Looks like I seriously underestimated my bomb-making ability.
| 89
| 0.95
| 1
| 1,603,830,050
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/jj9120/i_was_shocked_to_see_the_airport_erupt_with_flames/
|
jj9120
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
The apocalypse destroyed everything, and we wept while waves of burning death swept away the Earth. Little did we know that life followed death; plants and animals sprung up and grew in destruction's wake to form a new world.
| 89
| 0.96
| 2
| 1,602,312,709
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/j8fwv9/the_apocalypse_destroyed_everything_and_we_wept/
|
j8fwv9
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
JakobYou
|
top_all
|
After my teacher slept with all her students, she was rightfully arrested and sentenced to prison. Now that my Mother is gone our homeschool is not the same!
| 88
| 1
| 3
| 1,642,101,104
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/s372u8/after_my_teacher_slept_with_all_her_students_she/
|
s372u8
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Ghostshaddow
|
top_all
|
My girlfriend was found dead at midnight. I told her not to critique my pasta.
| 87
| 0.92
| 5
| 1,587,163,880
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/g3cf9t/my_girlfriend_was_found_dead_at_midnight/
|
g3cf9t
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
MonologueInMonoliths
|
top_all
|
Knowing how many pervy men are out there, I’m grateful that my gym is women-only. As a lesbian, snapping secret pictures of other ladies is much easier without competition.
| 87
| 0.92
| 2
| 1,619,181,604
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/mwuc8q/knowing_how_many_pervy_men_are_out_there_im/
|
mwuc8q
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
After decades of research, I was close to decipher the hieroglyphs on the sarcophagus. They said: the secrets of the Egyptians were secrets for the Egyptians too.
| 86
| 0.98
| 0
| 1,592,202,535
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/h9akof/after_decades_of_research_i_was_close_to_decipher/
|
h9akof
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
HairyPeasant
|
top_all
|
My entire life, all I've ever wanted was to serve God. In a week my restaurant will celebrate it's Grand Opening and everyone will be able to taste their Creator at $100 a plate.
| 85
| 0.97
| 5
| 1,587,004,037
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/g26as4/my_entire_life_all_ive_ever_wanted_was_to_serve/
|
g26as4
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
PointlessPoem
|
top_all
|
To my toxic ex-boyfriend who took everything from me and gave me nothing: thank you. Thank you for the bomb ass photos you took of me, they really have done wonders for my Instagram feed.
| 85
| 0.97
| 5
| 1,576,907,234
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/edm2mk/to_my_toxic_exboyfriend_who_took_everything_from/
|
edm2mk
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
That’s it, I refuse to let this jerk take me for a ride any longer! But my cruel captor merely laughs and forces me to pull his human-drawn carriage anyway.
| 85
| 0.95
| 3
| 1,591,132,028
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/gvfv11/thats_it_i_refuse_to_let_this_jerk_take_me_for_a/
|
gvfv11
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
It's strange but I've actually found a soft spot for Karen this year! I've prepared the Quick sand as a trap that'll teach the bitch.
| 83
| 0.96
| 0
| 1,610,874,998
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/kz3am2/its_strange_but_ive_actually_found_a_soft_spot/
|
kz3am2
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I tolds my wife I wans kid Shes make me pregance
| 83
| 0.96
| 6
| 1,731,287,191
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/1gog60i/i_tolds_my_wife_i_wans_kid/
|
1gog60i
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
satorusucker34
|
top_all
|
“Show me your cock,” She whispered seductively. “If you say so,” I said, going to get my new prosthetic.
| 83
| 0.97
| 8
| 1,624,133,668
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/o3otxw/show_me_your_cock_she_whispered_seductively/
|
o3otxw
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
KailTheDryad
|
top_all
|
i went to go drink the dementia juice i went to go drink the dementia juice
| 82
| 0.98
| 10
| 1,684,438,557
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/13l8jyf/i_went_to_go_drink_the_dementia_juice/
|
13l8jyf
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
filingcabinet0
|
top_all
|
My boss fired me, so I handed over my badge and gun. "You're a waiter, where did you get those?"
| 82
| 1
| 1
| 1,625,130,484
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/obhv3f/my_boss_fired_me_so_i_handed_over_my_badge_and_gun/
|
obhv3f
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GrimmRetails
|
top_all
|
Whenever people spot me out in the garden, they always compliment me on my green thumb. It’s pretty cool being the world’s first human-plant hybrid, even though I have to live outside.
| 81
| 0.96
| 0
| 1,616,677,063
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/mcxm5o/whenever_people_spot_me_out_in_the_garden_they/
|
mcxm5o
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
I need me a woman with steady hands. Those Lego stickers are so fucking tedious
| 81
| 0.96
| 1
| 1,580,217,472
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ev5hkl/i_need_me_a_woman_with_steady_hands/
|
ev5hkl
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
xLinerx
|
top_all
|
It’d be nice to have someone to turn to when things get grim, someone to live for, maybe love. I don’t really have to look far, my mom is...pretty damn hot.
| 81
| 0.98
| 3
| 1,578,617,033
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/emj13d/itd_be_nice_to_have_someone_to_turn_to_when/
|
emj13d
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I live on 9 hours of sleep Per year
| 81
| 0.92
| 10
| 1,575,850,678
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/e81zj9/i_live_on_9_hours_of_sleep/
|
e81zj9
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
iamsosmarter
|
top_all
|
I Dropped Toaster In The Bath Good Thing There was no Water In It
| 80
| 0.95
| 1
| 1,583,770,699
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ffx58e/i_dropped_toaster_in_the_bath/
|
ffx58e
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
xX-Toaster-Xx
|
top_all
|
I'm a thirty year-old man in the skin of a 14 year-old girl. The next victim will be a bit bigger, these 14 year-olds are too small.
| 80
| 0.96
| 3
| 1,597,726,564
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/ibunwx/im_a_thirty_yearold_man_in_the_skin_of_a_14/
|
ibunwx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
The sun, my love, the golden star. Little did I know that it's no star, but a portal to a dimension made entirely of light.
| 80
| 0.95
| 1
| 1,602,497,289
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/j9o8p9/the_sun_my_love_the_golden_star/
|
j9o8p9
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
JakobYou
|
top_all
|
CONTINUE READING TO FIND OUT HOW THIS WOMAN LOST 3KG IN ONE DAY! She gave birth.
| 79
| 0.95
| 2
| 1,596,368,484
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/i2aq5f/continue_reading_to_find_out_how_this_woman_lost/
|
i2aq5f
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Shioag
|
top_all
|
“Should we take this upstairs?”, I ask my brother. “Yeah, I’d rather watch this movie on a bigger screen”.
| 78
| 0.96
| 2
| 1,581,818,111
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/f4jnfu/should_we_take_this_upstairs_i_ask_my_brother/
|
f4jnfu
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
ElephantsAreHuge
|
top_all
|
The hunter successfully shoots the big bad wolf dead. They cut the wolf's belly open, and there it lies the half-digested skeletal remains of Little Red Riding Hood's grandma.
| 78
| 0.94
| 5
| 1,611,405,326
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/l3bcez/the_hunter_successfully_shoots_the_big_bad_wolf/
|
l3bcez
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuineaPigOinkOink
|
top_all
|
The thunder was so loud, it instantly startled me awake. I jumped up and turned to my wife to say how close that one was, until I saw the forty-four-caliber hole in her temple.
| 77
| 0.98
| 1
| 1,596,469,791
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/i2zfs3/the_thunder_was_so_loud_it_instantly_startled_me/
|
i2zfs3
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
As l kissed my wife at our wedding, I remembered that first time we met on the rooftop. I had just finished my most recent kill and she was the only one to find me during a job, and I'm glad I didn't have the guts to shoot her.
| 77
| 0.98
| 1
| 1,618,286,918
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/mpuryx/as_l_kissed_my_wife_at_our_wedding_i_remembered/
|
mpuryx
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Secure_Exchange
|
top_all
|
After the breaching charge came the flash bang. Helen Keller merely reloaded.
| 77
| 1
| 0
| 1,576,337,519
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/eal1pz/after_the_breaching_charge_came_the_flash_bang/
|
eal1pz
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
nerdunderfire
|
top_all
|
On Saturday night, my family gathered together to watch Sabrina the Teenage Witch. We and the townsfolk cheered as another girl was burned at the stake for the crime of witchcraft.
| 76
| 0.99
| 4
| 1,622,625,015
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/nqhjjg/on_saturday_night_my_family_gathered_together_to/
|
nqhjjg
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuyAwks
|
top_all
|
"I'll take two cases of Thin Mints, and one case of Tagalongs Mindy, thanks" "Would you like me to help you put them in your van Mr. Bundy?"
| 76
| 0.98
| 2
| 1,597,912,534
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/id6izn/ill_take_two_cases_of_thin_mints_and_one_case_of/
|
id6izn
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
He gently slid his cute daughters panties to one side.. So the rest of her socks would fit in the draw :3
| 75
| 0.8
| 15
| 1,735,739,823
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/1hr3ece/he_gently_slid_his_cute_daughters_panties_to_one/
|
1hr3ece
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
Guys, I used to date a stripper, and let me tell you something... this lady could get the paint off your walls in no time.
| 75
| 0.98
| 1
| 1,621,786,795
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/njb2qs/guys_i_used_to_date_a_stripper_and_let_me_tell/
|
njb2qs
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
PeeSeaBayBee
|
top_all
|
I’m reading this great book about an artist struggling through his country’s depression. If anyone is interested, it’s called “Mein Kampf.”
| 74
| 0.98
| 4
| 1,622,847,688
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/nshwsc/im_reading_this_great_book_about_an_artist/
|
nshwsc
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
“I’m sure glad I killed the testicle smasher and he’s dead now,” I said. Then I felt a hand fondle my balls.
| 73
| 1
| 5
| 1,640,324,911
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/rnfe4n/im_sure_glad_i_killed_the_testicle_smasher_and/
|
rnfe4n
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
tellemnancy13
|
top_all
|
When you were born I used to walk with you on my shoulders. And now I'll walk with you on my shoulders one last time to your grave.
| 73
| 0.98
| 6
| 1,618,946,227
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/muy185/when_you_were_born_i_used_to_walk_with_you_on_my/
|
muy185
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Llwyd379
|
top_all
|
“I hate Mondays,” I said to myself Peering out the bus window, I saw we were approaching the Monday factory…
| 72
| 0.98
| 11
| 1,676,625,381
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/114f5lo/i_hate_mondays_i_said_to_myself/
|
114f5lo
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Pidgypigeon
|
top_all
|
He threatened to kill my wife I chuckled before disconnecting the call and tightening the rope to hang myself
| 71
| 0.89
| 10
| 1,589,582,969
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/gkjbyu/he_threatened_to_kill_my_wife/
|
gkjbyu
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
abhijithvivek
|
top_all
|
We used to be a happy, joking family Now we're a sad joke of a family.
| 71
| 0.97
| 2
| 1,613,849,298
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/loemxu/we_used_to_be_a_happy_joking_family/
|
loemxu
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
I hugged my child one last time before leaving them on the step and ringing the door bell, hoping this family could care for them better than I could. I didn't realize until later that the family was on vacatikn and wouldn't return for weeks
| 71
| 0.94
| 5
| 1,595,509,730
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/hwfcis/i_hugged_my_child_one_last_time_before_leaving/
|
hwfcis
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
the_sand_moose
|
top_all
|
My mother once said to me "Eat all your greens, lettuce isn't going to hurt you" That is when the Lettuce Man arrived.
| 70
| 0.96
| 1
| 1,646,415,883
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/t6oiio/my_mother_once_said_to_me_eat_all_your_greens/
|
t6oiio
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Ben_Hamilton_33
|
top_all
|
I once farted in the school It wasn't
| 70
| 0.96
| 9
| 1,584,847,563
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/fmt2pj/i_once_farted_in_the_school/
|
fmt2pj
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
Someone_with_AIDS
|
top_all
|
No matter what you say, no matter what you do, I will never stop until I have accomplished my goal. I quit.
| 70
| 0.97
| 1
| 1,622,422,046
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/noonz6/no_matter_what_you_say_no_matter_what_you_do_i/
|
noonz6
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
BarbiturateBulbasaur
|
top_all
|
“I would rather pet the dog, head to tail,” And then I saw Scp’s 2952’s 30,000 km long body, as it stared at me.
| 70
| 1
| 9
| 1,622,231,958
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/nn6770/i_would_rather_pet_the_dog_head_to_tail/
|
nn6770
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
[deleted]
|
top_all
|
''You are the sunshine of my life,'' said the guy to the girl. ''That's why I'm gonna take off all my clothes off right now 'cause it's just too hot around you.''
| 70
| 0.91
| 1
| 1,612,270,909
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/lauyrq/you_are_the_sunshine_of_my_life_said_the_guy_to/
|
lauyrq
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
GuineaPigOinkOink
|
top_all
|
"I love you." he assured. I winced, "I don't want the kind of love that leaves me bloodied and feeling bruises."
| 68
| 0.95
| 4
| 1,597,848,735
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/icp3xs/i_love_you_he_assured/
|
icp3xs
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
DavenportChronicles
|
top_all
|
I finally brought home my wife after a two year battle with cancer. I helped her into her favorite chair, promised her I would be back soon, and went to put the shovel I had used to dig her up back in the garage.
| 68
| 0.96
| 0
| 1,607,649,360
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/kasdyr/i_finally_brought_home_my_wife_after_a_two_year/
|
kasdyr
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
sammmy134
|
top_all
|
Every Valentine's day, for the past twenty- three years, we'd meet in Washington D.C., we'd get a room for the night, and celebrate our special love for each other that no one else could ever have or understand. When we got off the hotel elevator, we saw her husband and my wife coming out a room together holding hands.
| 65
| 0.96
| 1
| 1,596,992,641
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/i6mspc/every_valentines_day_for_the_past_twenty_three/
|
i6mspc
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
quimquaffer
|
top_all
|
My father sees the figure in my closet staring through the cracks as it seeks to free itself from confinement. My father jerked open the closet door and said “WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE GAY, STOP BEING SO CLOSETED. We will accept you.”
| 65
| 0.93
| 4
| 1,623,376,181
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/nx4f0j/my_father_sees_the_figure_in_my_closet_staring/
|
nx4f0j
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
The_Fish_Alliance
|
top_all
|
"I love tomatoes," I said to myself. Then I realized I missed the bus that was going to the tomato factory
| 65
| 0.98
| 4
| 1,692,421,779
|
https://www.reddit.com/r/twosentenceplottwist/comments/15v6xf7/i_love_tomatoes_i_said_to_myself/
|
15v6xf7
|
twosentenceplottwist
|
squidreverend256
|
top_all
|
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